It’s that time of year when your social media feeds start filling with families in pumpkin patches, wearing plaid. And you (and I) panic because we haven’t booked the photographer for our own fall family photos or maybe we DID but we totally forgot and the shoot is tomorrow. This was me last weekend. I panic booked a session - and that session was less than 24 hours away. Why would I do that to myself?! Surprisingly, it actually went COMPLETELY smoothly. Here are the EXACT 4 things I did to make a last minute photo shoot with a toddler and a breastfed infant go off without a hitch:
Are you taking fall family photos soon?! Make sure you bookmark this!
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When you have little kiddos (especially when you have a breastfed baby), gone are the days of picking up and jetting out of the house at the drop of a hat. A little planning and preparation are required, even for day trips. And sometimes the stress of that makes you throw in the towel before you even got started and you just decide to stay home. But that’s no fun!
I THINK we finally have these day trip adventures down to a science. And it is TOTALLY doable without any meltdowns…by anyone (yes, mamas have meltdowns too, am I right?!).
On Friday night, we decided to take a Saturday day trip to NYC. September is one of my favorite times to visit New York because the weather is PERFECT for walking around all day. It’s not too hot, not too cold. You can bring light layers to use as needed throughout the day. Makes for a way more comfortable trip for everyone, especially the little babes. We planned, prepared, and executed in less than 12 hours and everything went off without a hitch. Let me tell you how!
First of all, as we’ve been visiting a bunch of big touristy cities during our time living in Newport, RI, I have come up with ONE guiding principle that we start all our plans with - FIND HOME BASE. When you have a breastfed baby in diapers and a potty-trained toddler who can only hold his pee for so long, home base should include the following:
If you can find a good home base -a place to start and end your day, a place to go back to mid day if needed - you will have a smooth day trip adventure, I PROMISE.
Here’s a run-down of our smooth sailing, super fun day trip to NYC:
Newport to NYC drive time: 3 hours / Baby gear we brought: travel stroller, baby carrier, diaper bag, Willow breast pump
Pit stops: 1 (Connecticut - surprisingly, CT service stops off the highway are VERY nice and clean. Mason absolutely REFUSES to go potty in dirty restrooms. Wonder where he gets that from…)
Left Newport at 7am. Mobile ordered Starbucks so Mom & Dad could caffeinate and we could all eat breakfast on the road.
Arrived in NYC just after 10am. HOME BASE: Nordstrom NYC
Parked in a parking garage about a block from Nordstrom.
Walked to Nordstrom NYC to use restrooms and mama’s lounge (nurse/pump, diaper change). [TIP: wear a nursing tank, like Ailana J. Josephina Tank or Ailana J. Mason Tank to make nursing and pumping in public so much faster, easier, and more discreet. Also great base option for layering in NYC fall weather.] We also shopped because…NEW YORK! Mason needed new shoes and what better place to do that than Nordstrom.
Nordstrom NYC is located right near the entrance to Central Park South. This is a perfect spot for toddlers. My 3 year old, Mason, got a hot dog and watched all the horse-drawn carriage rides. We walked over to Heckscher Playground so he could burn off some energy from our 3-hour car ride. Nina and I took a seat near Umpire rock so she could have some snacks and people watch. [TIP: there are lots of benches and grassy areas to breastfeed baby also! Great places to rest and re-group]. There’s a dog park right there, so she got to see lots of pups. There is SO much to do in Central Park, but we chose Central Park South because of the proximity to where we wanted to park and all the good kiddo activities so close together. In addition to what we actually did, the Central Park Zoo, Wollman Rink, and the Central Park Carousel were really close by as well. But we let Mason pick what he wanted to do next after the playground amongst the above choices and TOY STORE and he said…toy store. Of course.
Toy stores are much more of a novelty than they were when we were kids. There just aren’t as many of them now because of Target and Amazon and what not, which is super sad. I have amazing memories of going to places like FAO Schwarz when I was a kid, so FAO Schwarz was definitely on my list.
From Central Park South, we stopped at Magnolia Bakery to get some sugary treats for our 15 minute walk to FAO Schwarz at Rockefeller Plaza. We put Mason in the stroller for this and Nina in the carrier. This helps us get from point A to point B much quicker and safer.
We did a little shopping at FAO Schwarz. It was WAY more crowded than I expected, but Mason did great. He was a little overwhelmed by all the people, but he had a lot of fun browsing all the toys.
From here, we went to Rockefeller Center, ate our Magnolia Bakery treats, and made our way to Top of the Rock Observatory. After enjoying the views, this was actually a great place to regroup mid-day. After you take the elevator back down from the observation decks, you enter the observatory gift shop. There is a food hall and restrooms so we got lunch, had our bathroom breaks, and did a diaper change for Nina. Nina took a little nap at this point.
Mason really wanted to see trains, so we walked about 10 minutes to Grand Central Station, which is so cool. It’s beautiful and such a simple thing to occupy a toddler obsessed with trains. There’s also a food hall there too, so a good place to sit and take a break!
At this point, it was late afternoon and we were ready to head back to HOME BASE and think about getting home. Grand Central is a 30 minute walk back to Nordstrom. We walked back through Times Square, where there is the big M&Ms World. Another good stop for tots, but Mason actually fell asleep in the stroller on the walk back so we just kept trekking. [TIP: Wear comfy shoes! Plan your outfit around your shoes and not the other way around. You will be doing a lot of walking and you don’t want your feet to hurt, to get blisters, etc.]
We got back to Nordstrom to get coffees, use the restroom, and use that mama’s lounge again! They also have family restrooms that are gender-neutral for dads and other caregivers who may not want to use the women’s lounge. I pumped and changed Nina’s diaper there. Then we walked back to the car and hit the road around 4:30pm!
With such a successful day trip, I think we’ll do it again and visit a different part of the city! What part of NYC should we visit next?!
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I don’t know how this happened, but I’m already on the tail end of my maternity leave! As I’ve been on this journey with baby #2, I’ve gotten a TON of questions about maternity and family leave. It’s the most confusing topic ever - I swear they make it hard on purpose so mamas don’t take everything they’re entitled to, which just makes my blood boil! I’ve had to do a LOT of research to make sure I am able to speak to my rights with my employer. I really had to advocate for myself this time around and it’s definitely not easy to navigate when you’re recovering from birth and caring for a new baby - it’s an unfair added stressor on a new mom. So I’m going to share ALL my research on California parental leave with you right here so you have it in the palm of your hand!
*Please keep in mind that most of this information is specific to the state of California as of 2022*
To start, let me summarize all the BASIC amount of time off you get to take if you are eligible:
TOTAL (vaginal delivery): 22 weeks
TOTAL (c-section delivery): 24 weeks
To file your claim, go to https://edd.ca.gov. Once you’ve recovered from delivering your baby and you’ve received your final disability payment, you’ll automatically receive the form to file your paid family leave claim for baby bonding.
Okay, now let me break all that down for you - pay, job protection, and eligibility.
First, let’s talk about all the TIME OFF WITH PAY that you are eligible for. Your pay depends on your annual income - approximately 60-70% of your salary that you earned in the 5 to 18 months prior to the first day of your pregnancy disability claim (they call this the “base period”). Basically, they calculate a year’s salary starting 5 months before the start of your leave. This pay is untaxed, so don’t be too taken aback by only getting 60-70% of your salary!
CALIFORNIA STATE PREGNANCY DISABILITY BENEFITS:
(This provides monetary benefits ONLY, not job protection)
CALIFORNIA STATE PAID FAMILY LEAVE (PFL) BENEFITS:
(Also known as baby bonding leave and this applies to moms AND dads! This provides monetary benefits ONLY, not job protection)
TOTAL PAID LEAVE: 18 WEEKS (minimum - it could be longer depending on your specific situation! Again, the maximum is 4 months.)
Now let’s talk about WHO IS ELIGIBLE FOR PAID LEAVE.
DISABILITY & PFL ELIGIBILITY:
So, if disability and PFL only provide monetary benefits, WHAT ABOUT JOB PROTECTION? This part is a little confusing, especially if you live in CA. I will do my best here to make it less confusing!
FAMILY AND MEDICAL LEAVE ACT (FMLA) - all states
CALIFORNIA FAMILY RIGHTS ACT (CFRA)
If you live in CA, the legislation is more generous than FMLA, so you can essentially “ignore” FMLA. This part can get very confusing if you work for an employer that has employees all over the country like mine does. This is why it is so important to read the laws and be able to advocate for yourself.
TOTAL JOB-PROTECTED LEAVE: 22 WEEKS
That’s about 5.5 months minimum! If you have medical complications that require you to be on disability for a longer period, your MAXIMUM amount of total time off for disability + bonding is about 9 months. Plus, you don’t have to take your baby bonding family leave consecutively! You can either take it all at once OR break it up however works best for your family, as long as you use all your bonding time by your baby’s first birthday.
I hope this was helpful for all you expecting and brand new mamas! This is something you should NOT have to stress about, yet is so commonly a big stressor! If you have any questions or if I can support you in any way, my DMs are always open on IG @ailana.j
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The last 2 months have been an absolute whirlwind with a 2 year old and a newborn! As much as I love my kiddos, I’d be lying if I said this season of life has been all sunshine and rainbows. It’s hard and it’s exhausting. I’m still nursing around the clock and eat most of my meals with one hand, standing up. But this season has been teaching me a lot - here are 5 things I’ve learned in 2 months with 2 kids:
Photo Credit: Katherine Beth Photography
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6 weeks ago, my second baby made her debut at 38 weeks. Her entire labor journey was just a preview of how her personality would be out in the real world. Fickle, sassy, and sweet all rolled into one. Miss Nina took her time, but somehow came fast and furious simultaneously - I think my little Sagittarius may be a Gemini at heart. Her story really starts a couple weeks before she was born, but ends in a blink of an eye...
At 36 weeks, I started having sporadic contractions, was dilated 4cm, and was 70% effaced. My son, Mason, was born at 36 weeks and I was DETERMINED for my Nina girl to stay in longer! But, pretty soon, I started experiencing almost every labor sign in the book - pretty much everything other than my water breaking. However, contractions still weren’t regular, which meant she was staying put for awhile. When I hit 37 weeks, I felt a little relieved. At least if she was born at 37 weeks, she would be considered “early term,” which is better than Mason being born pre-term. But 37 weeks came and went (and continued with all those early labor signs...super fun).
Then 38 weeks rolled around and I had major contractions in the middle of the night 2 nights in a row. But my stubborn girl was STILL staying put. My husband’s birthday was on December 6 and we both thought she’d for sure come that day. I had an OB appointment that morning after having contractions all night long, but I was still only dilated 4cm and 70% effaced - aka no progress since my last appointment. As I was driving home from my appointment, I had some big contractions in the car. Maybe I shouldn’t have been driving? Oops.
When I got home, I started timing my contractions and they were consistently about 15 minutes apart. ALL. DAY. LONG. I really couldn’t tell what the hell was going on - was I having a baby today or not?! Well, we called my dad to come down from San Francisco to watch Mason just in case. He flew down that evening and, of course, my contractions stalled. I started going 20, 30, 45 minutes between contractions. Super frustrating. So I decided to get some sleep - I was super sleep deprived during my labor with Mason and I was trying to avoid repeating that experience. Then, in the middle of the night, contractions started getting closer together again - 15 minutes...then 10...then 5. The magic number to get us going to the hospital. Yay!
Around 6am on December 7, we said good bye to Mason, took one last picture as a family of 3, and got ourselves in the car. And I started bawling my eyes out. Not from pain, but because I was super sad that Mason wasn’t going to be our only baby anymore! Hello, hormones.
When we got to the hospital, I was only 5cm dilated. I told you this girl took her time! My contractions were 3-5 minutes apart at this point, so they admitted me. My nurse helped me get situated in my room - we got the diffuser going, dimmed the lights, got me a medicine ball, made sure I had what I needed for when I wanted to get into the shower, and went over some labor techniques/positions with Nick and me. These were my favorite things for pain management when I was in labor with Mason, so I was hoping they’d help again this time. Nick also set up our Bluetooth speaker so I could get my labor playlist going and busted out the giant snack bag I packed. Then I had to get a lovely COVID test shoved up my brain - I think I preferred getting my cervix checked than taking that COVID test!
For the first few hours of being in the hospital, Nick and I were just hanging out and kind of goofing off to be honest! We were laughing a ton between contractions and I was feeling really good. We were eating snacks (Nick was eating a legit meal - he had smoked a brisket for his birthday the day before and brought the leftovers with us to the hospital lol). I had a little dance party in the shower. I did have to take a 2nd COVID test - I guess they didn’t get a good enough swab the first time! The worst. I would’ve rather had 20 contractions, honestly. Other than that, things seemed to be going super well!
But, after getting checked again, I had only dilated another half a centimeter or so. Seriously, I told you this girl was NOT in a rush. We had already been at the hospital for 6 hours - not to mention all the laboring I had already done at home! We decided to have my doctor break my water to see if things would move along a bit. Well...”a bit” was an understatement. Once we did that, I went from 5.5cm to 10cm in about an hour! Contractions were coming fast and furious all of a sudden. Each contraction was practically just melting into the next one, giving me NO breaks. I was 100% caught off guard. I felt like I had labored up to this point like a freakin’ champ, and now I was like what the actual eff?! This was the time hubby helped me the most. The sudden change in labor progression was super hard for me to manage - the pain was WILD. I felt like my brain turned to mush for a little bit and that’s when Nick stepped in to help me try to get my head back in the game and manage the pain. I eventually requested an epidural, and they were able to give it to me as soon as I asked. But, by the time it kicked in, I was 100% effaced and it was time to push already!
Thankfully, my COVID test was negative and the nurses had me take my mask off for pushing. I ended up having to push while laying on my right side because baby girl’s heart rate wasn’t loving the situation. She was doing much better if I was on my right side. It was a weird position to push in, but 35 minutes later a squishy, vernix covered babe was plopped on my chest! We didn’t cut the cord right away - we just laid there getting our bearings after that whirlwind delivery and she nursed for the first time. Doc delivered the placenta, which was not very pleasant, and stitched me up. In contrast to Mason’s delivery, it was a breeze. Mason took 3 full hours of pushing and a 2nd degree tear, while I only had a 1st degree tear with Nina girl. Plus, I felt ALL the stitches with Mason so I was thankful for the epidural this time around!
After a couple hours, we got moved to my recovery room and went to work on trying to name her! We went in with a short list, but I seriously could not commit! It took us a good 24 hours to land on Nina Kehlani, but I think it suits her. Other than that, I felt like a veteran - Nick and I just kind of fell back into the newborn phase like riding a bike. I was far less overwhelmed and felt much more comfortable. Plus, we didn’t have any visitors due to COVID so I felt like we could actually rest and recover before going home!
This may be an unpopular opinion, but both births made me feel so EMPOWERED. It’s pretty crazy that our bodies can do all that and I actually would love to do it again...but I think we’re good with two kids! At least, for now!
]]>Well, baby is still baking (fingers crossed she keeps baking until she’s full term, unlike her big brother!) and I am now on my REAL maternity leave from my full time job. While I’m supposed to be resting so baby girl stays IN a little longer, I am also full blown nesting.
My biggest task for the week? PACKING MY HOSPITAL BAG.
Mason was born at 36 weeks. I’m currently 35 weeks and a few days, so, while I have high hopes baby girl will listen to me and be born full term, I’m getting prepared early just in case! And I’m taking a break from my self-imposed blog maternity leave to share my COMPLETE HOSPITAL BAG CHECKLIST with YOU!
When I was a first time mama, I had no idea what to pack. What would I actually use? What would I want from home to make the stay more comfy? What would I want to help me get through labor? Now that I’ve been through it once, I know my checklist is clutch. I’ve shared it with a lot of my first time mama friends who have asked for help in this department, and, since we’re all friends here, I want to share it with you too!
If you’re an expecting mama, you have ENOUGH on your mind. Don’t stress about what to pack for the hospital – I got you. Save this checklist for stress-free packing!
Hope this helps you out, mama! Happy packing + best wishes for a safe delivery to all you expecting mamas out there!
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We have a special guest on the blog this week - Anna Murphy, the mama behind Curate Mum! She supports mamas in their back to work and career journey…AND she has an e-book coming out next month! I’m super excited for the tips she’s sharing with us this week, so let’s get to it!
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Returning to work can be a stressful time for any Mama, there are lots of things to consider and if you are continuing pumping or breastfeeding, there are some practical steps you can take to help make the process easier. Here I’m sharing my top five tips for a successful return to work while continuing your breastfeeding journey!
When you know you are going back to work, or you are ready to start a new role, speak to your employer about the fact that you plan to continue breastfeeding and that you will need suitable facilities to use for pumping.
Employers in the US have to provide you with reasonable break time to express breast milk up to a year after your child's birth AND provide you with a private place, that is not a bathroom, to express breast milk.
Top tip: Always advise your employer you plan to pump at work via email so that you have a written record of your request and your employer's response.
This is key! Don’t wait until the weekend before you go back to work to purchase your pumping equipment. I’d suggest getting your equipment at least a few weeks before your return to work date, so you have time to test it out and make sure you know how to use it properly. If there are any issues with the equipment, you’ll have plenty of time to get it exchanged and any new equipment tested. Make sure you practice using it a good few times before you start work.
I recommend you wash and clean the equipment before heading back into the office so that you’re familiar with how to take all the parts apart and clean them.
Think about how you are going to carry your pumping equipment around - if it's workable for you - have equipment for home and work so you are not transporting it. Alternatively, invest in a strong and comfortable bag to use. You will also need a cooler bag to transport pumped milk - there are many great options on the market that double up as breast pumps and cooler bags. Test out the bag you are going to be using a few times - with all the pumping equipment and bottles inside. Practice walking out of the house carrying it to make sure the bag is comfortable and not too heavy. Also think about purchasing collection bottles, nursing pads and spare clothes in case of milk leaks, ready for your first day.
Top Tip: Practice, practice, practice with your pumping equipment before you return to the workplace.
Think about how you are going to store your pumped breast milk at the office. You need somewhere secure and free from any possible contamination. Speak to your employer about whether they have an appropriate refrigerator. If you plan to use a company refrigerator, make sure you clearly label any bottles stored in the fridge and that the containers are secure (don’t store them in the door for example or on top of peoples lunch boxes!). Alternatively, you could look at a cooler bag or even a mini-fridge for your desk.
Top Tip: Think in advance about where you are going to store your pumped milk. Make sure you have enough bottles to store pumped milk in.
How often you will need to express milk - every 90 minutes? Every two hours? Plan to pump in line with your baby's regular feeding schedule and book diary appointments in your work calendar so that you protect the time! Don’t forget to factor in time for getting to and from the room that you will use and time for storing your milk and cleaning equipment. For example, if you know you need to pump for 20 minutes, add in an extra 10 minutes to clean equipment, store milk and get to and from the room. Mark the appointments as private and let your manager know you will express milk during that time.
Top Tip: Putting the time you plan to pump/express milk in your diary, ensure other people don’t book any other appointments with you!
You can find practical and stylish clothes to wear to work that supports your breastfeeding journey! Think about clothes that are comfortable to wear, that allow you to attach a breast pump and that makes you feel confident. It’s also important to think about a well-fitted bra that is easy to use with a breast pump.
Top Tip: A great place to start is the Ailana J. website!
Remember - Don’t be afraid to ask for help!
This is my most important tip! As a mother returning to the workplace, it can feel like there is a tremendous amount to think about and plan for - but there is help available!
Reach out to friends and family for support, and seek supportive professionals that can help guide you and make your return to work journey a success! You’ve got this Mama!
About the author
Anna Murphy is a Senior HR professional with over 17 years in the HR field. Her last role was Head of HR before she took maternity leave followed by a career break. She is passionate about supporting Mums in their back to work and career journeys. Her first e-book will launch soon, which provides support to Mums returning to work after maternity leave or career break. Follow her @curatemum.
]]>It may not feel like it in here in San Diego, but it is FALL! Fall and winter seem to be an extra popular times for family photo shoots, and I’m definitely on that bandwagon. With my own family & maternity photo shoot coming up, I’ve been working on styling our outfits and thought I’d share a few tips! This isn’t the easiest task…especially with toddlers and husbands involved. So check out these tips to make it a little easier on you, mama!
I’m so excited for our upcoming family & maternity shoot! This is the ONE and only thing so far this pregnancy that I’ve actually thought of and planned in advanced. This pregnancy has been quite the journey for a variety of reasons and I’ve felt super “behind” in a lot of stuff, which is not a pleasant feeling. However, I actually got this one thing together in a timely manner! Now…let’s get through the actual shoot. Wish us luck!
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P.S. The photo above was from Mason's newborn shoot! I went with a black and white color palette to complement Mason's nursery. I wore a white tank and black jeans. I dressed Mason in a white onesie and I chose a zebra print short sleeve button down with black shorts for my husband. But another thing to note...babies and tots don't always cooperate! So be prepared with a few things on hand to help with that. For this newborn shoot, we threw on a swaddle (just happened to have one that matched...phew!) and gave him a bottle of pumped milk (because I wasn't comfortable nursing in front of the camera at the time...a story for another day). For our upcoming shoot, I am going to pack snacks and a couple toys (extra points for me if I can find some that will complement our outfits!).
Photo credit: Stacey Northrup
]]>Heads up, mamas! This week’s blog post is a little different…you ready for it?!
I’m spilling 5 SECRETS to feeling AMAZING in your postpartum bod! In REAL LIFE!
Well…by real life, I mean by video. J I was super lucky for Ailana J. to be a vendor partner for a virtual baby shower event last month for military mamas. This was a paid ticketed event that came with a TON of amazing resources – and I shared these 5 SECRETS with them for the event!
Now, since we’re all mama besties here, I want to share the video with you too! Our bodies deserve ALL the kudos in the world for birthing and breastfeeding our tiny humans. But I ALSO know that the adjustment to our new bodies isn’t always easy. I made this video so mamas can feel like their best selves on those days that feel a little tougher to do so.
So go watch HOW TO DRESS FOR SUCCESS + CONFIDENCE AS A NEW MOM as featured at the Bloom virtual baby shower hosted by Military Mom Collective by CLICKING HERE!]]>
Traveling with littles can feel EXHAUSTING. If I said there isn’t a part of me that misses traveling pre-baby, I’d be a liar. It was obviously so much easier to pack up and go when it was just me and my husband. I remember the first time we decided to drive from San Diego to San Francisco with Mason when he was about 2.5 months old. I’m pretty sure I packed for a week straight...and basically brought our entire house with us.
Not practical. Clearly...especially when I was trying to nurse him in the car on the way and navigate through all of our stuff and our dog. Not easy.
Well, we’ve taken countless road trips since that very first time and it has definitely gotten easier over time. So far, our trip that we’re currently on has been pretty smooth sailing! Every family and every baby is different, but I’m going to share 3 secrets with you that have made our family road trips SMOOTH & STRESS-FREE.
Are your mornings HECTIC? If you are a mama with littles, my best guess is the answer is YES.
Because you’re trying to get everyone out of the house looking somewhat presentable. And you’re usually the last one to get dressed. Because, if you get yourself dressed first, you’ll end up with spit up on your shirt...or maybe something worse. Now you’re rushing to get dressed and you throw on the first thing that looks clean, so you have a shot at leaving the house on time...but now you look like you got dressed in the dark. Sound about right?
I’d say so! I literally left the house for work without shoes recently...this is a real story (thank you, pregnant brain). So, just know, it happens to ALL of us. And, while mornings with babies are probably always going to be a little hectic, getting yourself dressed CAN be easier. Here are 3 EASY tips for you to LOOK + FEEL put together in 5 minutes or less:
You’re doing an amazing job and you deserve to look amazing, too…even when you are having a ROUGH morning! You got this, mama! (And, if you're a breastfeeding mama who needs a little help in the wardrobe department, I got you - check out www.ailanaj.com!)
]]>They don’t call the newborn/postpartum period the 4th trimester for nothin’. It is not easy. One thing (other than the massive sleep deprivation) that was particularly hard for me was all the bodily changes I experienced. The biggest thing that caught me off guard was postpartum BO! It is something super normal that SO many mamas experience, but NO ONE talks about. Feeling stinky, frumpy, and just an overall hot mess was NOT my jam. And that feeling took a toll. As someone who loves to dress well, I couldn’t get over the fact that all I could wear that made breastfeeding easy and that I felt comfortable in was either jammies or active wear.
BUT I DID NOT WANT TO SPEND MONEY.
Like…literally I wanted to spend zero dollars on myself during this season of life. I was CONVINCED that it would be a waste of money because I would be back to my “old” self and size in no time.
AND I WAS 100% WRONG.
While breastfeeding, healthy eating, and moderate exercise helped me shed a LOT of the baby weight, I didn’t get back to my pre-baby weight until my son was about 18 months old.
That is a LONG time to feel like sh*t.
Now, while I am in complete belief that our bodies are absolutely magical and deserve all the gratitude in the world for birthing and breastfeeding babies, I also know that we don’t always love our new mom bods and it can be challenging to feel confident in our new skin. So I am going to share ONE SUPER SIMPLE HACK to make you feel really good in your postpartum season of life:
PURCHASE AT LEAST ONE WEEK WORTH OF NEW CLOTHES TO FIT YOUR NEW BODY + NEW LIFESTYLE.
Mamas, I am totally with you that spending money on a whole new wardrobe is a tough pill to swallow. But I promise you, the sooner you do it, the better you’ll feel and the more use you’ll get out of the pieces you buy. And, if you follow this hack, one week’s worth of clothing can actually get you MULTIPLE weeks’ worth of outfits.
Let me show you how. Here are the 7 things that you need to include in your new mama wardrobe:
If you are looking for MORE tips like this to help you look + feel amazing as a new mama and you happen to be a military-connected mama, I have the BEST event to share with you! Military Mom Collective is hosting a virtual baby shower called Bloom this Saturday, August 14! It is for active duty, reserves, veterans, and milspouses, who are pregnant, have given birth within the last year, or who recently adopted or fostered an infant! You will gain EXCLUSIVE access to the Ailana J. video resource: How to Dress for Success + Confidence as a New Mom, as well as NUMEROUS other valuable resources for parents. I’m offering a 15% discount to all Bloom attendees, and I know other vendor partners are offering sweet discounts and juicy giveaways as well! Get more information and your tickets HERE!
]]>We all know that hindsight is 20/20, right?! The crazy thing about motherhood is that there is NO RULEBOOK. Babies don’t come with instructions. And learning how to be a new mom, especially the first time, can be super overwhelming. No one can tell you what to do or what is BEST for you and your baby other than YOU. And, if you’ve NEVER done it before, it can be hard to KNOW what is “best.” We’re all kind of faking it and hoping we make it, am I right?!
Well…knowing what I know now and preparing for baby number 2, there are THREE THINGS I wish I could go back in time to 2019 and tell my new mom self about breastfeeding. In honor of World Breastfeeding Week, I’m going to share these 3 things with you because I truly believe that these are super helpful tips that I desperately wish I knew…and, while I can’t ACTUALLY time travel, I CAN help you right now and I am lucky enough to get to try to implement them with baby number 2.
If you follow me on Instagram, you know we took a little break from the blog last week! I had a WILD travel experience from Philly for my grandfather’s memorial service back home to San Diego, so I needed to take a little me-time to decompress. I’m back this week and I’m going to share some details about the worst travel experience of my life…which sounds really far off-theme for a blog dedicated to mama life, right? But it’s actually right on-theme, I promise.
This experience showed me the power of finding a mama tribe. Even amongst strangers at the airport.
Let me rewind and tell you what happened…and how a mini mama tribe was formed in all of this chaos.
My flight home to San Diego was supposed to depart at 6:50pm last Monday night. And it got delayed to 8:30, then 9, then 10, then 10:15 and so on and so forth. The explanations for the delay were rarely given by the airline staff, and, when they were, they were almost comical – like not having a baggage handler to load the checked luggage onto the plane or it taking over 2 hours to refuel the plane. By 9, most of the passengers on this flight, including my preggo self, went on a hunt for food, only to find that everything in the airport had already closed.
Cue hormonal hangry tears.
As the flight continued to get delayed later into the night and early morning hours, I felt like I was in a scene from a movie or TV show. Passengers started getting rowdy. Alliances started forming. And I’m pretty sure the airline staff hid from us all – they were nowhere to be found for VERY long periods of time. They were absent long enough for the flight tower to be calling the desk at the gate, and passengers eventually answering. The flight tower wanted to know what the hold-up was – we should’ve been boarded and taking off by now.
Throughout the evening, I befriended 2 women who were traveling with their young children – and we just started looking out for each other. We’d watch each other’s bags so we could go to the bathroom. We offered each other whatever snacks we had with us. We shared whatever information we could with each other if we learned anything new.
All 3 of us were moms. All 3 of us were from San Diego. All 3 of us were traveling “alone.”
Around 10, we were told the airline had been cleared to land past the San Diego Airport curfew and we will be boarding as soon as they can. Around 11, we were told by an authoritative looking gentleman wearing a full suit two things: 1) we will be boarding in 2-3 minutes and 2) we will be flying to LAX instead of San Diego because we have now exhausted the curfew extension given to them by San Diego. The plan would be to fly us to LA and bus us back to San Diego.
I nearly lost it. But I just wanted to get on the plane and get home. My new mama friends were equally as distraught and equally as anxious to just get on with it.
Then another hour passed…and then another…
Finally, around 1:15am, we were told that the flight crew has now timed out and will not be able to fly us. They claimed they were attempting to get another crew on board to fly us to San Diego.
Another hour passes…I mean, what airline employees-of-the-year are just sitting at home in the middle of the night waiting to be called into work unexpectedly?!
Around 2am, we are finally told that we are not going to be leaving that night. And we just have to wait to see what time our flight will be the next day. Half an hour later, we learned that we wouldn’t be leaving until 10am.
And this is where the mama tribe SHOWED UP. We all started Googling where we could stay and how we could get there. Hotels were BOOKED. We were trying REALLY hard not to flip out. One of my new mama friends finally found a room and booked 3 reservations for all of us. She then called and scheduled a shuttle to come pick us up.
And we all stuck together as we walked out of the very deserted Philadelphia airport in the middle of the night.
And we checked in together and made sure we all got into our rooms okay (the hotel was pretty questionable…and a drunk guy was roaming the hallways…)
And we exchanged phone numbers to make sure we all woke up on time.
And we waited for each other in the lobby to make sure we all got on the shuttle.
And we got through security and to our gate. ALL TOGETHER.
NO MAMA LEFT BEHIND.
Meeting these 2 women made one of the most excruciating travel experiences so much more bearable. I’m pretty sure I would’ve had a total meltdown (and probably multiple) if I hadn’t met them. That is the power of a mama tribe.
And, mamas, this applies to ALL things. Doesn’t it feel SO much better to go through a challenging time with someone else?! If you’re having a hard time with breastfeeding or functioning while sleep-deprived in the newborn phase or learning to love your postpartum bod or WHATEVER...how much BETTER does it feel to be supported by another mama friend going through the same thing as you or another mama friend who has BEEN there?! SO. MUCH. BETTER.
Whether you NEED that mama friend or you want to BE that friend to someone else or a combo of both…if you’ve found yourself here, then you’re in the right place. And, if you want to take it a step further, click here! :)]]>Last week, I FINALLY announced that we’re adding a little bundle to our family this December! Check out my announcement post here if you missed it!
And I’m going to be real, per usual…this pregnancy has been tougher than my first. I’m more tired, more nauseous, more hormonal, more intense cravings, and just experiencing more symptoms in general for much longer into my pregnancy than I did with Mason. I also found out I was pregnant the day after Mason was in the ER for a stomach bug, and a little over a month later, we were back in the ER for respiratory issues, followed by a week-long hospital stay…which was then immediately followed by my husband being underway for a month (#navywifelife). I had a lot of guilt over not being as excited to start out with as I was with Mason because we were just SO. BUSY. And the mom guilt of not getting a cute announcement together like I did with Mason was super real too. With Mason, I had a whole photo shoot with a professional photographer done well in advance of when we wanted to make the announcement (around 12 weeks). This time, the photographer was me and my iPhone, in a rush one morning before getting Mason to daycare. #secondkidproblems
BUT…while, this pregnancy so far hasn’t been the easiest, there ARE some things I’m REALLY excited about that make the tough stuff worth it:
I’m back! ICYMI: we skipped a week on the Ailana J. blog because I was Maid of Honor in my college bestie’s wedding last week! There were a lot of festivities, planning, and traveling that had to be done last week, but now I’m back! And I’m ready to go into even MORE detail and give you the inside scoop on pumping at weddings. In my last post, I spilled all my secrets to pumping at a wedding (check out that post HERE). This week, I’m going to give you my humble opinion on WHAT TYPE of pump you should use at a wedding (or any big event!).
First of all, a lot of mamas love a manual pump for occasions like this. They are super quiet, small, and easily portable because they don’t need to be plugged in. Plus, there are very few parts to clean in between pump sessions and they’re relatively easy to clean! However, I personally find manual pumps inefficient for party time! It’s a lot of work and time to use a manual pump, especially if you only have one for both sides. This means you have to pump each breast separately. A lot of things happen at a wedding, especially if you’re part of the bridal party, that you don’t want to or cannot miss! The time and effort of using a manual pump makes it my least favorite choice for wedding pumping. If it works for you, then that is awesome, but, in this post, I will be sharing what I think is the best option between HANDS-FREE and TRADITIONAL pumps!
Two of the bridesmaids in the wedding I was just a part of were pumping mamas – both were using the types of pumps we’re comparing today! One had an Elvie (a hands-free, wearable pump) and one had a Spectra (a traditional electric pump). Based on both their feedback and my personal experience, check out the pros and cons of using both pumps at a wedding:
SPECTRA S1 PROS:
SPECTRA S1 CONS:
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ELVIE PROS:
ELVIE CONS:
Ultimately, the Elvie (and other brands like the Willow) is SUPER convenient because it’s really small, extra portable, easy to clean, and no fuss when it comes to set up. However, the Elvie comes with a hefty price tag that may not be 100% worth it for lower suction and slightly less output. Some insurances will cover or partially cover pumps like this, but I definitely would not recommend a pump like this as your main pump to get with your insurance since you only get one pump covered per pregnancy. If you will be on the go regularly and already have a hands-free, wearable pump (or maybe you're on baby #2, 3, etc. and already love your previous pumps and can use your insurance on a wearable one), then BRING THIS TO THE WEDDING. The Elvie will really help you stay on your pumping schedule and maximize your fun!
However, if you do not already have one, I would not splurge on this just for a couple of weddings. I love my Spectra S1 – the battery life is amazing and it is super portable! While it may be a little bulky, I just throw it in a nice tote and it works out great! I love not skipping a beat with how much milk I am able to express and I’m able to do that really quickly with the Spectra. Set up time and clean up might take slightly longer than the Elvie or Willow, but it’s definitely manageable and worth the compromise for the output.
]]>It is MID-JUNE, which means wedding season is in FULL SWING, y’all. Plus, COVID restrictions “fully” lifted in California yesterday and I know our social calendars are getting a little back to normal. I know mine definitely is - I am so excited to be maid of honor for one of my college besties next week! After her wedding was postponed last June due to COVID, I am BURSTING to finally get this girl down the aisle to the wedding of her dreams. With that in mind, I’ve been reminiscing on the MANY weddings I attended while I was on maternity leave and breastfeeding. I attended both as a bridesmaid and as a guest, and neither make for an easy time to get pumping, but, with how many weddings I went to while pumping, I got pretty darn good at it! If you are about to embark on or are in the thick of wedding season like I am, use this guide to help you pump as easily as possible at the next wedding you attend!
P.S. I will be busy with lots of wedding festivities next week so there will be no blog post next Wednesday, June 23! Stay tuned for the next post the following week!
Photo credit: Emily Jenks Photography
]]>Tonight, Mason peed from the 2nd floor banister, over my head, onto the stairs, and all over the first level of our house. This was after a particularly stressful day of work and picking up Mason late from daycare for the first time EVER. Not to mention that I’m solo parenting this month since my husband is away for work (Navy wife life…).
Mason is still recovering from his hospital stay (see last week’s blog post about it here!) and on a steroid inhaler and an oral medication twice per day, morning and night. Our dog, Pax, also has an ear infection and needs his ears cleaned twice per day followed by medication in his ear. Both Mason and Pax HATE doing these things, so adding these lovely activities to our morning and evening routine is just lovely. And by lovely, I mean terrible.
Once I get them all taken care of after work and get Mason to bed, it’s time to make dinner for myself, take care of the house, and work on building this beautiful business, Ailana J. Nursing + Pumping Apparel, for you, mama! Then I try to get to bed at a reasonable hour and start this all over again.
I share this anecdote for those of you who feel like crying right now because not one thing went right in your day. I share this for you, mama, who had a string of terrible nights of sleep because baby is going through a leap or a regression. I share this for you who is struggling with their pumping schedule and still trying to be a rock star at work. I share this for you, mama, who is dehydrated and hungry because you’ve been running around all day after your toddler and forgot to drink water or eat enough. I share this because I want you to know that IT IS NOT JUST YOU.
Motherhood is hard. Doing it without a tribe is even harder. Trying to build in self-care and to take some time to recharge feels unrealistic sometimes. No matter how much I KNOW what I need to do to give myself that time, there are times, like now, when it feels absolutely impossible and I feel so incredibly drained that I don’t know how I’m putting one foot in front of the other.
BUT WE DO IT.
If you follow Ailana J. on Instagram, I posted a quote on Monday from @peanut that sums this all up:
Being a mama is wild because you really just wake up every day and do the damn thing. Regardless of how you feel, you just do it and that’s amazing. I’m proud of us.
Sometimes the weight of a bad day can feel really heavy and overwhelming. It’s okay to feel it. But (and I’m saying this just as much to myself right now as I am to you), don’t forget that we are STRONG + AMAZING. And we CAN MAKE TIME to recharge and get that super important self-care in. If we can do all this other crazy stuff in mom life, we can do that too. And that time is really important because it helps make the tough days less tough. It helps us have MORE to give because we can pour from a super full cup instead of an empty one.
Back in October, I shared a blog post all about self-care that I love referring back to from time to time when I need my OWN reminder of the importance of self-care and how to get it done. If you need to go back to it today too, it’s right HERE.
I also hosted a Self-Care Challenge for Mamas back in March. Previously exclusive to challenge participants, I am now sharing the quick guide they received at the end of the challenge with you RIGHT HERE. After the past few days I’ve had, I want any of you mamas to have all the resources you need to TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF if you are struggling!
Now, I’m going to go take some of my own advice and eat some Ben & Jerry’s, while finishing the season finale episode of Bridgerton on Netflix. Washing the dishes, cleaning the bathrooms, and the rest of the never-ending list of things to do in my head can wait while I recharge my batteries a bit.
]]>If you follow Ailana J. on Instagram, you probably saw that my 22-month old son, Mason, was in the hospital most of last week. He was having some major breathing issues, which the hospital called acute respiratory failure – if that doesn’t scare the you-know-what out of any mama or parent, I don’t know what does.
The good news is we live down the street from an amazing children’s hospital and he’s been doing well at home the last couple of days. But, last night over dinner, my husband asked me what my biggest learnings were from our week in the hospital with Mason. And, while I sincerely hope none of you ever have to experience what we experienced, I realized that my biggest takeaways from the week actually apply to quite a lot of mom life things. So I want to share with you the top 3 things I learned from my sweet babe’s hospital stay:
I’m having MAJOR Disneyland withdrawals after our trip last week! It was SO much fun and SO much easier than I anticipated! A lot of that had to do with us all getting REALLY good sleep both at night and during nap time – you can check out my blog post from last week for my exact packing list, which includes my must-have items for amazing baby sleep while traveling. But, this week, I’m sharing why Disneyland was an AMAZING choice for a family vacay right now and all the tips I learned during our trip for a breastfeeding mama…plus all the things you can do to make the trip SUPER EASY for your family!
Why Disneyland?
Disneyland Tips for a Breastfeeding Mama
How to Make the Trip to Disneyland SO EASY
Would you add anything to any of these lists?! Tell me in the comments!
]]>You guys…I LOVE Disneyland. And I’m pretty much just BESIDE myself with excitement that we get to take Mason for the first time RIGHT NOW! I had been dreaming of taking Mason last year after he turned one, but obviously those dreams were put on pause by the pandemic. But now, I’m actually super stoked about the limited capacity and restriction in admission to California residents only for now – even pre-Covid, I was never a big fan of crowds!
Although I’ve been bursting with excitement since I bought our tickets and made our park reservations almost a month ago, I also have been a LITTLE anxious about taking a tot under 2. This is our first rodeo taking Mason on such a big adventure, and, while I may deem myself a Disneyland pro, I still was feeling nervous about the whole thing. And what do I do when I’m feeling that way? I get prepared…with a checklist, of course!
I’ve been curating this Disneyland vacation checklist for WEEKS – a culmination of all the ideas from my past Disneyland trips, past trips we’ve taken with Mason, and advice from other mamas (especially breastfeeding mamas!) who have taken their own littles in the past. If you’re planning a trip to Disneyland and wondering how you’re going to survive, this checklist is IT. Here you go:Now you’re locked and loaded for an easy, breezy Disneyland vacay, mama! Share this post with a friend who’s planning a Disneyland or Disney World trip!
]]>Happy Cinco de Mayo, mamas! We all know that Cinco de Mayo is the perfect day for a margarita or two, but a lot of us breastfeeding mamas think we need to lay off the stuff completely or pump + dump in order to partake in the festivities. Both of those can feel like a MAJOR bummer sometimes, especially the pumping + DUMPING! No one wants to waste an ounce of liquid gold, am I right? Whether it’s Cinco de Mayo, Sunday Funday, your best friend’s wedding, or you just want a glass of wine after a long day, not drinking at ALL or pumping + dumping that hard-earned liquid gold is actually NOT necessary! Today, I am BUSTING the myth that you have to 100% lay off the booze while breastfeeding! Exciting, right?!
The truth is, according to the CDC, breastfeeding mamas can have up to 1 drink per day –moderate alcohol consumption is not known to be harmful to your little babe.
So what exactly does 1 drink mean?
One standard drink, according to the Dietary Guidelines for Americans is as follows:
And what does this mean for you as a breastfeeding mama?
So cheers, mama! I love me a spicy margarita with a tajin rim! I think that’s my drink of choice this Cinco de Mayo! How about you?!
And, if you want to continue with all the CHEERS-ing, join me next TUESDAY for a total FREE virtual event for the Ailana J. Mama Tribe (that’s YOU!):
What you can expect from this super fun night:
Who feels like they perpetually have a baby on their boob or are constantly attached to a pump? It can TOTALLY feel like that right?! Like…do I do ANYTHING else than feed my baby?
But you have a life to live! Especially now that our world is starting to resemble some form of normal again, you DESERVE to be living your best life. So how in the world can we make nursing or pumping on the go EASIER?
When a mama-to-be is creating her baby registry, it is SO common for ALL the items to be all about baby. I know mine was. I was so excited to pick out all these things for my little guy that I didn’t think much about myself. And mama actually needs some things too! And there are actually a lot of things that can help make nursing + pumping on the go SO MUCH EASIER, so you don’t have to miss out on all the fun just because you’re a breastfeeding mama! Here are some of my breastfeeding gear must-haves for nursing + pumping on the go!
Kiinde Twist Gift Set
This is the MOST convenient system for pumping moms! The Kiinde system allows you to pump directly into a pouch, and feed baby directly from that pouch – no milk transfers, milk loss, or exposure to germs! I already hate transferring milk when at home, but on the go is even worse! PLUS, you have less dishes to wash/sterilize, which is a MAJOR win, ESPECIALLY when you’re on the go. The adapters, nipples, nipple cases, and nipple brushes are top-rack dishwasher safe and steam-sterilizer safe. This set comes with ALL the things: direct pump recyclable pouches, pump adapters that fit all major pump brands and models, bottles and nipples for pouches (the pouch pops right into the bottle and the nipple pops right on top! All different flow nipples are included in this set too!), bottle/pouch warmer, storage holder to keep your milk organized in the fridge or freezer, and cleaning brushes! I mean, this is a SERIOUS gift set. The nipples also come with a traveling case, which is SO awesome for feeding on the go so you don’t have to worry about germs!
Shop the Kiinde Gift Set on Amazon
Bamboobies Washable Nursing Pads
You. Will. Leak. End of story. And leaking when out and about can put a major damper on things. Invest in a healthy supply of both regular and overnight Bamboobies nursing pads because you WILL wear them daily. These are much more absorbent than disposables and don’t show through your bra. I had some MAJOR leakage and I never leaked through any of these nursing pads. The Bamboobies are made of super soft rayon velour from renewable bamboo, which is a particularly nice feature for those days of super sore nipples. These are also quite a little money saver since they are washable and reusable! I can’t even imagine how many disposable nursing pads I would’ve gone through if I had not been gifted these by a mama friend who had a baby before me!
Shop Bamboobies Nursing Pads on Amazon
Spectra S1 Breast Pump
Read all about why I LOVE this pump here! But the #1 reason you need this pump when you’re on the go is the rechargeable battery! Being tethered to a wall outlet is a major bummer. Have the freedom to pump whenever and wherever you need to with this heavy duty, yet super quiet pump. It has a 3 hour battery life, which is more than sufficient for a full day’s worth of pumping (on average)!
Shop Spectra S1 Breast Pump
Nursing Tanks by Ailana J.
If you’re going somewhere, whether for work or play, you want to look good, right?! Make your life easier with quick access nursing tanks that will not only make you look AMAZING, but also be super comfortable. The Josephina Tank allows for nursing access in 1.5 SECONDS –that’s speedy AF, which you will definitely want to be when you’re out living your best life, right?! Every Ailana J. tank is so discreet – no one will ever know you’re wearing an outfit made specifically for nursing. Ailana J. will have you looking CUTE + CHIC, while making nursing or pumping on the go a BREEZE.
SHOP THE JOSEPHINA TANK BY AILANA J.
SHOP THE MASON TANK BY AILANA J.
If you made it all the way to the end of this blog post, I KNOW you want to live your best life, right?! Well, I have a GIRLS NIGHT coming your way!
You’re part of the Ailana J. mama tribe, so YOU’RE INVITED! I cannot wait to hang out with you! Click here to get all the details– see you there!
I love being prepared. The day I peed on a stick and found out I was pregnant with Mason, the first thing I did was buy “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” at Barnes & Noble. I downloaded all the apps and read all the books. And then I learned all about childbirth and breastfeeding. I took the classes and did all the things. But there was STILL ONE thing I didn’t expect postpartum…the most bizarre postpartum body change that NO ONE TALKS ABOUT.
Body odor.
Not only are you wearing mesh undies with giant pads and dealing with raw nipples, but you smell bad too. Cool.
AND NOBODY TELLS YOU ABOUT THIS SO YOU CAN PREPARE! It just kind of happens and you’re caught off guard. Rude.
So WHY does this super rude postpartum body change happen? There are 3 main reasons:
In general, you sweat more after you have your baby. Remember retaining water while you were pregnant? Or all those fluids you may have gotten in your IV at the hospital? Well, now that you’re not pregnant anymore, those hormones that were making you hold on to all that water are now telling your body to flush it out. And your body does that by sweating it out, particularly at night.
If you’re breastfeeding, your body helps your baby find those milk makers through your sweat. You naturally emit a stronger smell to assist your baby in finding the breast. This cool phenomenon is unfortunately emitted through your underarm sweat - a baby’s sense of smell is fully developed at birth!
Your hormones are majorly adjusting after bringing your baby into this world. These hormonal changes affect SO MANY THINGS – your hair, your milk supply, your mood, your fertility…and your SMELL. Remember having to start wearing deodorant when you hit puberty? Yup, those pesky hormones are the culprit! The hormonal changes your body goes through as it recovers from pregnancy can change your body odor.
All these factors contribute to you smelling less than your best. PLUS, you personally have a stronger sense of smell (thanks again, hormones!), so you might feel like you smell worse than you actually do! You might have expected superhuman smelling powers while you were pregnant, but probably didn’t realize it could last into the postpartum period. AND…not only that, but those newborn parenting days come with its own personal brand of stink. Leaked or spilled breastmilk, baby spit up, stinky diapers…oh and maybe going longer between showers than you meant to? No judging!
Every mama is different and there is unfortunately no quick fix – just time to let your body recover! But, while you’re waiting for your body to go back to “normal,” the Mason Nursing + Pumping Tank by Ailana J. is designed to help you keep those postpartum stinkies under control! The nursing + pumping access panels on this tank are MAGICAL because the fabric is:
If you’ve been following me on Instagram over the past week, you know that my poor baby took a trip to the ER last Wednesday. He threw up 17 times in about an hour and a half, which scared the you-know-what out of us, so we took him in. After some tests, x-rays, a little hydration, and some anti-nausea medication (and 3 hours in the ER), the doc determined that Mason either ate something bad or caught a stomach bug from day care.
Well, once we got home, we gave Mason a bath, put him to bed, and got to cleaning. And the next day…more cleaning. And then the next day, explosive diarrhea began...AND my husband got sick. Confirmation that it was, indeed, a stomach bug.
SO. MUCH. FUN.
Stomach bugs can be pretty common and easily spread amongst kids, so, if your kiddo goes to daycare like Mason does, this unfortunate predicament could happen to you (or maybe it already has!). Somehow I have survived the plague that rampaged through my household, so I thought I’d share the 3 things I learned this past week on how to survive some of the grossest things you will ever do as a mom.
I was really fortunate that I didn’t catch this nasty bug (thank you Clorox wipes and hand sanitizer everywhere!). But, if you find yourself getting directly puked on by your child like my husband did and you catch the bug, taking care of baby while feeling like your insides are furious at you is INCREDIBLY challenging. No one is judging if you have Cocomelon or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on 24/7. You gotta do whatever you gotta do, mama!
]]>I loved breastfeeding my son and feel very lucky that we had a relatively “easy” journey with it all. But no matter what kind of breastfeeding journey you have or how long it lasts, there is a laundry list of invisible struggles that most of the world doesn’t see. And that laundry list is LONG. Nothing on this list is easy. A lot of it also comes as a surprise. I truly never knew how much I would despise sterilizing pump parts and bottles, for example. It’s usually pretty hard to explain to someone who hasn’t experienced these things, so, if you’re feeling extra exhausted today, I GET you. Cheers to all you mamas carrying a pretty heavy invisible load that comes with breastfeeding. Here are 10 things that generally go UNSEEN and I want you all to feel SO SEEN right now.
If this last point is something you’re struggling with, Ailana J. can help! This is a TOTALLY SOLVABLE PROBLEM! It’s something I can just swoop right off your plate! And I can even sweeten the deal. For a limited time, the Mason Nursing + Pumping Tank, the ultimate desk to date night staples for a breastfeeding mama, is BUY ONE GET, ONE 20% OFF! Don’t miss out – once this promo is over, it is NEVER coming back! Shop HERE!
]]>All my life, I’ve had this fear of trying new things because I might look stupid or I might fail. It’s a fear of embarrassment, really…a fear of what other people might think. I remember vividly one summer when I was a kid that I was super nervous the night before starting musical theater camp. I loved to sing and dance, but I played sports. Other than singing and dancing in my living room to Spice Girls and Selena, I didn’t have much experience with performing at that time. And I didn’t know ANYONE going to the camp. I was totally afraid of sucking and totally afraid of having no friends. After BEGGING to go to this camp, I cried to my mom that I didn’t want to go the night before it was supposed to start. But, of course, she made me go, and it was AMAZING. I had SO much fun and made friends right away.
And, while this little anecdote is from when I was around 8 years old, the principle behind it really hasn’t changed, and I KNOW a lot of you mamas feel the same. Trying new things is SCARY. Even if it’s something you REALLY, REALLY want to do. We’re afraid of being judged, afraid of failing, afraid of looking stupid…but we’re also probably afraid of SUCCEEDING. What happens if we TRY and we THRIVE?! What happens NEXT?? And, once you become a mom, the mom guilt factor definitely comes in to play.
Well, when I was on maternity leave after I had my son, I really struggled with still being the old Jeannine. There were things I REALLY wanted to do, but I was completely afraid of how it would go. How do I go here and there with a baby? Where do I nurse him? How do I change his diaper in public? What do I do if he has a meltdown? What if he hates his car seat? What if he won’t take his nap while we’re out? Of course, I tried it – went to lunch or out shopping or whatever with Mason and it all went fine…or sometimes it didn’t, but I figured it out. And, as I went on more adventures with the baby, I no longer had those fears because I knew what to do.
But, once I could just figure out how to function as a normal human again, I still felt like something about the old me was missing. I thought it was because I was used to working. I have always worked and always planned on going back to work after my maternity leave was over, so I thought that, while I loved being home with my son, perhaps I missed the productivity and contribution I made outside our home. But then I went back to work and I still felt something nagging me.
After a month of being back at work, I figure it out: I WANTED TO START MY OWN BUSINESS.
Great timing, right? Start a new business with an infant as soon as I return to work from maternity leave? SO perfect.
Nope. Not perfect. Far from perfect. But I dreamt of having my own company for about a decade – I just didn’t have the right idea that really lit a fire under me to go after it. And, suddenly, my baby, breastfeeding, and struggling to find clothes that truly worked for me and fit my style in that season of life was IT. That was the fire.
Let me tell you that this road was ROCKY. And it STILL IS. First of all, I was SO afraid that I didn’t know what the heck I was doing in order to get started. I had to learn SO much on how to get a business off the ground, and I didn’t know if I had learned enough. But I took the leap anyways, even though it was scary AF.
I didn’t tell anyone, though, for at least 3 months. It was just between my husband and me. We would brainstorm after work. I would throw ideas into a word document. I researched and read and learned. Then, finally, one day, I decided to go register my business with the city and it happened to be the day one of my best friends was visiting me from the Bay Area. She was the first person (other than my husband) that I told. And it was SCARY TO TELL HER. I talk to this girl practically every single day. We tell each other EVERYTHING. And I was still afraid to tell her. WHY? Because telling her made it more real. Telling someone other than my husband meant I was REALLY doing the thing. It meant that people would SEE it. People could JUDGE it. And, if I fail, people would KNOW it.
But I ripped off the band-aid and it was FINE. The next step was overcoming some mom guilt. And I’ll be honest…it’s still a work in progress for me. I am a little bit attached to my tech. I’ve got my laptop, my iPad, and my iPhone. And I work on my business any minute of the day that I can because it is my DREAM and it is FILLING MY CUP. Though I work a full time job, I still manage to put in at least 40 hours a week on my business. But that DOES mean that I have to work sometimes when I’d like to be spending time with my son. But I try my best to be really intentional with my time so I have the ability to have dedicated time just for him, uninterrupted. And I remind myself that I want to show him WHAT IS POSSIBLE and that he can go after his dream, just like I did – no matter how hard or scary it is. I remind myself that, for as much as this is MY dream and I’m doing this for MYSELF, I am ALSO doing this for HIM.
I will be sharing MORE of my story TOMORROW during my FREE masterclass: Finding Yourself in all the Milk Making + Motherhood on IG LIVE at 12PM PST! This masterclass is dedicated to helping you live your BEST mama life through doing the things that FILL YOUR CUP. You were someone before you were a mom and that person still matters, We want to see her SHINE. Join me TOMORROW, APRIL 1 at 12PM PST on IG LIVE (@ailana.j) for this FREE MASTERCLASS!
]]>Jeannine here again! I’m BACK! In case you forgot, I’m the founder + designer of Ailana J. Nursing + Pumping Apparel. I have been collaborating ALL MONTH LONG to bring you March Mama Month with Rachel DuPree, clean beauty enthusiast, lifestyle + fashion blogger, and mama of 2! Today, I’m sharing one of the THREE guest blog posts I wrote for Rachel’s blog – if you want to check out the other two, head to www.rachdupree.com!
Now let’s get to it…
Even though we just had a HUMAN COME OUT OF OUR BODIES, most of us postpartum mamas are NOT feeling confident with how our bodies now look. A lot of change happened to grow that human and have that human enter this world. And, if you’re breastfeeding, more bodily changes are happening in order for you to nourish that human for however long you choose or are able.
First of all, remember that your body is MAGIC. Take a moment to give your body the gratitude it deserves. Your body might look different from what you’re used to, but remember ALL it has accomplished. It’s pretty darn amazing.
BUT, while I’m all about giving your body all the kudos in the world for birthing a human, I KNOW there are some days when the changes your body has gone through just don’t feel so good. I have BEEN there. These 5 tips are going to make you feel CONFIDENT on those days when you feel like crap.
This month has been ALL about making you feel GOOD, mama! And the fun isn’t over! I’ve got a TOTALLY FREE 5-Day Self-Care Challenge for Mamas starting on TUESDAY, MARCH 30! I’m literally giving you TIME to take care of YOU…on a super shiny silver platter aka directly to your inbox! I really shouldn’t even call it a challenge because there’s nothing challenging about it! You’re going to RESET, RELAX, + RECHARGE in the most guilt-free way possible. You DEFINITELY want IN on this because taking care of yourself is part of taking care of your littles!
PLUS, if you’ve been around for awhile, you KNOW wine is going to be involved if you’re hanging with me for 5 days! All challenge participants will be INVITED to MAMAS NIGHT IN – a virtual wine tasting event in partnership with Napa Valley’s OneHope Winery! I am seriously SO excited for this – OneHope is one of my FAVORITE Napa vineyards because, not only is the wine freakin’ AMAZING, but the proceeds from each purchase benefit non-profits! In light of the recent tragedy in Atlanta and the rise in Asian hate crimes (not to mention that I am part of the AAPI community), any wine you choose to purchase will support Asian Americans Advancing Justice, a non-profit that works to advance the human and civil rights of Asian Americans. Awesome, right?!
Doors close for the self-care challenge on Sunday! Don't miss out! SIGN UP NOW!
]]>March Mama Month CONTINUES! Rachel Dupree is BACK for another amazing guest blog post. She's sharing her TOP clean beauty must-haves so you can ditch all those harmful chemicals found in some of your favorite products and make sure your beauty and personal care routine is SAFE for your little babe.
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I know it can be very overwhelming to shop for beauty products let alone think about all the ingredients to look for and avoid. Here I have compiled a list of my favorite must-have brands and products.
As we covered last week, there are many ingredients to research the why and the how behind. I would recommend to continue to dive deeper into what ingredients will typically be removed from a product so it can be considered a “clean product”. To make this a bit easier I have included Ulta Beauty’s definition for clean products and an ingredient list of ingredients to avoid or to verify are not on the label.
What is Clean at Ulta Beauty?
We know that clean can mean many things. Our goal: to be transparent and keep things simple. We’re focusing on ingredients that products have—and don’t—to help you easily reach for the beauty you want.
Source: Ultabeauty.com
As it stands, clean beauty truly is so new that there is not a finite definition or standard to go by. Unfortunately, this means that it is defined differently from one retailer to another, and from brand to brand.
I especially appreciate that Ulta Beauty has created a section on their site just for Conscious Beauty. This is new and a great way to not only educate yourself but for brands to be highlighted within this group. Like Ulta Beauty states on their site, “this creates transparency and choice”, which I completely agree with. Though tackling these topics can be confusing at first, you’ll typically want to look for product labels that state they are free of or made without these or most of these. Many aren’t applicable to personal care products but may be used in household products.
Okay now that we have a great list to get us started I want to highlight the brands I shop from for cosmetics, haircare, skincare and body care products. I will link the direct products below. I not only recommend these base off their ingredient list but even more so because they actually work!
Tarte by far is my favorite go-to Clean Beauty brand, however I suggest Juice Beauty, PUR, Cover FX & Eco Tools. Here are a few of my MUST-HAVES!
Tarte Babassu Foundcealer Skincare Foundation SPF 20 | This is a great everyday foundation with great coverage (still looks natural) and SPF! | https://bit.ly/3vIQ6Hg
Tarte Shape Tape Concealer, Glow Wand & Sponge | I love this set! It has 3 great products for the price of one! Concealer, illumination concealer & a sponge for applying concealer and/or foundation. | https://bit.ly/3eNW4jO
Tarte SEA Color Splash Lipstick Colada | Truly any of these shades are great. The formula is soft and smooth, and has long lasting pigment. | https://bit.ly/2Oym6gA
Eco Tools Airbrush Complexion Kit 5pc Brush Kit | I LOVE these makeup application tools, brush & sponges. They are eco friendly and super affordable! | https://bit.ly/3tssMeH
I LOVE LOVE LOVE my haircare line. I’ve been using this product line exclusively for almost two years and WOW has it transformed my hair after bleach damage (leaving me with a short fried bob) along with Postpartum hair loss. I couldn’t be more grateful for these! So I of course will share my top 5 must haves from the line.
Monat The Champ Dry Shampoo | The best invention! Just spray a little around your hairline, crown and then in between layers. Brush & you’re ready to go! | Grab the product I use here.
Monat Leave-in-Conditioner | If you have damaged ends, fly aways or trouble growing your hair, a leave-in-conditioner will change it all! | Grab the product here.
Monat Smoothing Shampoo | Smoothing Shampoo is a daily shampoo formulated to gently cleanse and nourish while smoothing and softening the hair cuticle to reduce frizz. Formulated with REJUVENIQE™, and infused with an exclusive blend of amino acids for total frizz control, Smoothing Shampoo takes charge to reduce dry static fly-aways, de-frizz, and resist humidity for a smoother, sleeker, silkier look. | Grab the product here.
Monat Smoothing Deep Conditioner | Smoothing Deep Conditioner works on all hair types to nourish, control frizz and add brilliant shine. It is light enough for daily use and does not weigh hair down. It restores softness and shine, and protects hair from humidity. | Grab the product here.
Monat Blow Out Cream | Provides silicone-like performance, without silicone build-up! Has low-to-medium heat protection. Reduces styling time. Restore softness and shine. Provides a smooth, silky, sleek look to your style. Prolongs the life of your blow dry. Great for all hair types! | Grab the product here.
I’m skincare obsessed so I've tried just about every brand there is. However, nothing compares to the quality and results I’ve had when it comes to Monat Skincare. I use their entire Purified Skincare line (for oily skin) along with their treatments like Vitamin C serum, Vegan Retinol alternative Bakuchiol & night cream. I’ll list them all below. If you ever have questions feel free to message me for help!
Coola Organic Makeup Setting Spray SPF 30 | A first of it’s kind, Coola makeup setting spray is a great mix of SPF and setting power! It’s great for on-the-go touchups! | https://bit.ly/3vBjdfE
Evian Water Spray | Great refreshing spray for anytime of day. You can use it over or under makeup! | https://bit.ly/3vyN1cz
BE PURIFIED™ Clarifying Cleanser | A purifying and refreshing gel cleanser made with powerful botanical ingredients formulated to gently reduce excess oil and unclog pores without drying the skin. | Grab the product here.
BE PURIFIED™ Cold Charcoal Mask | A unique cooling blend of mineral-rich clays and purifying charcoal to help refine pores and provide deep cleansing. | Grab the product here.
BE PURIFIED™ Oil-Free Moisturizer | A lightweight, oil-free moisturizer designed to help minimize visible shine while absorbing excess sebum, giving the skin a healthy appearance. | Grab the product here.
Botanic Bakuchiol | Vegan Retinol Alternative Lotion. Powered by nature, this lightweight lotion is packed with a potent blend of botanical actives that work together to help reduce the appearance age spots, uneven skin tone, texture, wrinkles, and fine lines. Ideal for all skin types. Safe for Pregnant or nursing mamas! | Grab the product here.
Radiance™ Illuminating Serum | A supercharged, 15% vitamin C serum for the skin featuring powerful antioxidants to help brighten and enhance your complexion. Our silky serum glides on and absorbs fast, quickly working to create a healthy, youthful-looking glow. | Grab the product here.
I especially love to use the entire product line from COOLA, Tubby Todd and Kopari Beauty. You really can’t go wrong with anything from these three lines and yes I have tried almost every single product they make LOL. Oh && St. Tropez or Loving Tan for my self-tanner. Here are a few of my favs!
Kopari Beauty Coconut Faves Kit | This set if a great way to try the best-sellers from Kopari! | https://bit.ly/3lm0Arh
COOLA Organic Mineral Face Sunscreen SPF 30 | Amazing daily SPF that dries down. It’s a mineral formula so no shine, sheen or white cast, plus no it’s not a chemical SPF! | https://bit.ly/3vrErwa
Loving Tan 2 HR Express Self Tanning Mousse | I love this deep olive tone & scent! Great product for novice or experts. | https://bit.ly/3cLB0Iq
St. Tropez Classic Self Tan Mousse with Mitt | Amazing self-tanner that actually works. No streaks. No orange. This is my go to brand & product when I tan. | https://bit.ly/3twOle3
https://www.ulta.com/conscious-beauty/
https://monatglobal.com/the-science-of-monat/
*FTC Disclaimer: Some links in this post are commissionable, meaning I may receive a small kickback if you purchase through the link, at no charge to you. Thank you!
]]>March Mama Month x Rachel DuPree continues over here at Ailana J.! This week, Rachel is talking all about how she discovered the dangers of certain ingredients in cosmetics and personal care products and why pregnant + breastfeeding mamas should stay away from these as best they can!
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I often hear soon-to-be moms share that they became hyper-aware of what products and ingredients they ingest, use on their body while pregnant, and what they will eventually use for their babies. I was one of them as well!
Through my own exploration and curiosity I dove deep into the products and food I already used and ate, to see what was even in them. It was scary what I discovered. It’s now been a long term change in my buying behaviors, of reading labels each time I shop and sharing this with other moms.
It may sound very time consuming (which admittedly it can be at first) but once you know, you know. And to be honest once I did the research and actually learned why they were in a product and what they provided for the customer or the item, then you can’t/won’t forget it. Unfortunately, your eyes will be opened and this information will serve you forever and raise your buying confidence.
After I learned the basics on ingredients I took that to the next level to learn about why they were used, what they do for the products (stabilizer, preservative etc.) what they provide for the body and how they can affect the body, hormones and skin negatively.
Additionally, I learned that there is a large discrepancy of what “chemicals” and ingredients are allowed in different countries. I live in the USA so we have the FDA to approve different ingredients and regulations are not an exhaustive list or necessarily the gold standard. However, you will soon learn that other countries are much more stringent than the US.
As you shift towards clean beauty and products you will start to see a handful of ingredients used over and over again. I want to be share a few groups of ingredients to try to avoid. I don’t want to dive into the science too much on these because I am not a scientist, biologist or a chemist; however this will be a great start for you to research more on your own. Be sure to read Pub Med research papers, medical reviews, government sites and even brands like Paula’s Choice who share great resources and definitions.
I’ve gathered three definitions from Paula’s Choice Ingredient Directory that you can find it here and shared why they are important to research further.
PARABENS
Paula’s Choice definition: “Parabens are a group of controversial preservatives that include butylparaben, isobutylparaben, propylparaben, methylparaben, and ethylparaben. All of these were at one time the most widely used group of preservatives used in cosmetics. Parabens were so popular because of their gentle, non-sensitizing, and highly effective profile in comparison to other preservatives but also because they were derived naturally from plants, a rare phenomenon for a preservative. Parabens are found in plants in the form of p-hydroxybenzoic acid (PHBA), a chemical that breaks down to become parabens for a plant’s own protection.” (Source).
This can be a tough one! Depending on what resource you pull from or read, you will see that there is not a concrete answer as to the harm of using paragons as a preservative in personal care products. I personally choose to avoid them as much as I can. To be honest they are hard to completely remove from every single product you use, unless you can survive using one or two things. I love to regularly try new cosmetics so this can be harder to work around. In the end though I do suggest that you do more research so you can learn about why they are used and what forms you’ll see them in, along with alternatives.
FRAGRANCE
Paula’s Choice definition: “One or a blend of volatile and/or fragrant plant oils (or synthetically derived oils) that impart aroma and odor to products. These are often skin sensitizers because they are composed of hundreds of individual chemical components. Fragrance is a leading source of sensitivity to cosmetics.” (Source).
Now this is a great one to research and it may scare you. Truly, fragrance is a known irritant to the skin, hormones and respiratory system. Unfortunately, fragrances are one of the lending causes of sensitivity to cosmetics, skincare, haircare, household cleaners, candles, and pretty much everything you can think of that has fragrance in it. Truly, the scary part is that a lot of ingredients/chemicals can be hidden under the guise of “fragrance”. This can be dangerous because you don’t actually know what chemicals or ingredients are hidden within that name. If these were fully disclosed, and you found you had a reaction to one of them, through elimination, then you could choose to avoid them. At this time that is not an option, which can lead to more issues and irritation for the body.
PHTHALATES
Paula’s Choice definition: “Phthalates refers to a wide range of substances that are very different from one another. Some are considered safe, and others are considered to pose a potential risk. Those that are considered to be potential risks are not approved for use in consumer packaging were banned in the US as well as the EU (these are phthalates DEHP, DBP, DIBP and BBP). Just to be clear, these have never been used in personal care products to begin with, rather they are used for industrial products. However, those phthalates that have proven to be safe are not banned in the US or EU (DEP, for example, AKA diethyl phthalate is used in the EU in packaging for personal care products and other consumer items, and was given broad approval of safety in 2007.” (Source).
Okay now that was a long definition. If you made it this far…Thank you! Honestly, this is a very hard one for me. Like the above definition reads, there is a discrepancy in the which phthalates are safe and unsafe. Thus making it a bit harder to catalog them in your head.
I hope this gave you a little bit of a start at understanding the controversial ingredients that are often in our personal care products. These definitions go to show, that you really need to research each variation individually for a better understanding of which ingredients to avoid.
At this time, many brands are labeling their bottles with free of…to include phthalates, parabens and fragrances. So this definitely helps as a consumer! I highly recommend to avoid cheaper, widely known big box store products when looking for clean body care products, especially for babies. I would recommend the brands, Tubby Todd, LATHER, Monat Junior haircare and Young Living. These are fantastic trusted brands with clean, toxin-free personal care and household products. You won’t have to second guess or even read the labels because they are THAT transparent about their ingredients! Which is a relief as a busy mom.
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To hear more from Rachel, you can find her here:
Website: www.racheldupree.com
Instagram: @rachdupree
Photo Credit: Christina Peach Photography
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